Training is over

The lack of activity on my blog here does not reflect the activity in my running endeavor. It just didn't make sense to update every single run I took on (plus MapMyRun.com served as a surrogate to brag about my longer training runs in the meantime). I lost sight of my original goal. I am, however, committed to run the October 20th Mankato Marathon. And I am ready. 5 days to go.

It's been a pretty hard time for me lately. The one thing I have going for me is this marathon; this little milestone to call my own. I am coming to the realization that it has always been a solo effort, and that's what it was meant to be. Could I have done a fundraiser for the Boston bombing victims as I originally intended? Yes, I could have. But I didn't, and I feel bad about that. But transitions in my life prevented me from pursuing that effectively and responsibly. It would have been a nice gift to benefit their families in a coordinated online effort.

Instead, I think that Krystal, Lu and Martin gave me a little something- the idea that I could do this again, without excuses floating in my head. And just in the nick of training time- from the sadness in their deaths, to the move to action, to the many runs (short and long), to the commitment to registration, and finally to the (eventual) completion. They taught me, in their passing, that life is a painful endeavor, often without grace. Roads highs and low and all of that. The simple metaphor that "life is a marathon" remains trite, but true. It's exhausting, painful and exhilarating. It's just what it is. Nothing more.

And it's worth it.

I'll be going by myself this Saturday, picking up my race number and packet, staying overnight, and then waking up bright and early to spend 5+ hours with 3000 strangers on rural routes, descending hills and small town streets. Then I'll rest, take a shower, and then drive home. So this one belongs to me. I've put in the time; the pained knees, the aching feet and tight hamstrings. But, like anything, these things heal and I continue on. I've done everything that I know how to do in preparation (besides eating more responsibly- I can't ignore my carbohydrate cravings entirely), and I feel strong enough to endure this one more time.

Because I can.